adm-in wrote:
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 You dont have to be nice on this one.. I dont think yahoo answers enthusiest will have a problem with that! I will go first... I dated a chick who had some missing fingers.. she ended up getting fake fingers that were some weird material that felt alot like skin and they looked totally real. The funny thing is these fingers would sometimes fall off or get stuck in things. One time we were going on a date and she had her hand chillin in my sun roof. I went to close it and all of a sudden she jerked her hand down all quick and gave me a dirty look. I looked up and saw two fingers chillin up in the sun roof. Youd have to see it to really enjoy this story. lets see what you got! ...

 A man takes his wife to a livestock show. They start heading down the alley where the bulls are kept. A sign in front of the first bull says: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year! You could learn from him." They proceed to the next bull and that sign states: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That's over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, big time." They proceed to the last bull and his sign reads: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open as she gasps, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That's ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one!" The man turns to his wife and says, "Yeah, okay. Go on up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow." ...

 Three small boys were sitting at the lunch table one day braging about how much each of their dads could eat. The first boy said,"My dad can eat 2 BigMacs, 2 large fries,and 2 large milkshakes." The second boy said, "That an't nothing,My dad can eat 3 BigMacs, 3 large fries, and 3 large milkshacks." The thurd boy said,"Man that an't nothing,My dad can eat miniblinds." The other two boys looked at him and said,"bull crap, your lieing." The thurd boy said,'' No I'm not, Just the other night, I heard my dad tell my mom. Pull down that shad, I'm going to eat that thing!!'' ...

 A frog walked up to a lady named Patrica Wack at the bank and asked for a $30,000 and told her that he knew the bank owner.When she asked what he would pay her with for the loan he pulled a pink tiny porcelin elephant out of his back pack and handed it to her.She got up and said she would check with the bank owner and see if this was acceptable.When she asked the owner if it was he simply replied.......Song portion...... "It's a nicknack Patty Wack, Give the Frog a loan.His old mans a rolling stone!" I find it funny if you get it. ...

 Visual is ("Chicks are dancing in party and one chick is using Drum or Band ")here chicks are freshers in college. Punch should make one pleasent smile on viewers,,,,,,,,,,Please Help 10 points for selected answers........ thanks........... ...

 Two guys went camping. In the middle of the night, one asked the other, "Are you asleep?" "No." "Are you masturbating?" "Yep." "Are you having trouble getting it up?" "Yep." "Well, why don't you try using yours instead?!" ...

 Visual in poster is ("Chicks are dancing in party and one chick is using Drum or Band ") here chicks are freshers in college. Punch should make one pleasent smile on viewers,,,,,,,,,,Please Help 10 points for selected answers........ thanks........... ...

 Q: Who was the greatest inventor of all time? A: God was! He took a rib from Adam and made a loudspeaker. Q: How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A: They were definitely put out. Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children to explain why he no longer lived in Eden? A: "Your mother ate us out of house and home." Q: Why did God create alcohol? A: So ugly people have a chance at having sxx.In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested. Adam and God were walking in the garden one day. Adam asked God, "Why did you make Eve so beautiful?" God said, "Adam, so that you would love Eve." Adam asked, "But, why did you make her so stupid?" God replied, "So that she would love you." ...

 An old man visited his doctor for help with a problem. 'Doc, I don't know what's wrong, but I fart all the time. It's weird because they are silent and odorless, but they keep coming out. In fact, I've farted about 6 times just sitting here. What can I do?' The doctor replied, 'Here, take one of these pills every morning and then come see me in a week.' A week later, the old man came back to the doctor and he was upset. 'Doc, those pills didn't help - they made it worse! I'm still farting, but now they stink something fierce!' The doctor replied, 'Calm down, sir. Now that we've cleared your sinuses, we can work on your hearing.' ...

 A man, who had a wooden eye that always seemed to fall out at the worst possible moment, thought he was going to be a bachelor for the rest of his life. Then he met the girl of his dreams. She was perfect in nearly every way, except her mouth was sideways. Instead of left to right, it went up and down. Because of this flaw he found the courage to ask her out. After about a year of dating everything was going great, so he decided to ask her to marry him. After a nice meal at an expensive restaraunt he got down on one knee and said, "would you like to marry me?". She clasped her hands together over her breast and said, "Oh, wouldn' I". He said, "Nevermind, P***yface!" ...

 In the old days the English and Scottish armies used to fight by gathering their armies on top of the hills and at day break they would run down the hillside into the deep gorge below to fight. One morning at dawn there was a fog (as thick as pea soup) and the two generals decided to refrain from fighting that day. Whilst the two armies were resting a voice, with a scottish accent came from within the dense fog. "Any one scotsman can beat any 10 englishmen". With this, the english general sent down 10 of his soldiers. There was a hell of a fight and NO ONE returned. An hour later, the same voice was heard. "Any one scotsman can beat any 50 englishman". With this the english general sent down 50 of his soldiers. The same thing, a terrible fight ensured and again NO ONE returned. An hour later the same voice. "Any one scotsman can beat any 100 englishman". Same same, down went 100 of the best. NO ONE returned. An hour later. Any one scotsman can beat any 1,000 englishman". By this time, the english general had enough and was about to send down his elite soldiers, when he saw a lone englishman crawling up the hill. He was battered to a pulp. As he reached his general he said, "Don't send any more troops down, its a trap, THERES TWO OF THE BAS--RDS". ...

 By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed,snoring away,when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,'and he sat up all night watching me. ...