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 i have a cat named fred. he is about 3 or so yrs old, and a black and white mix...(like the strays everyone sees...)(heres a pic of a cat that looks like him....&rurl=&p=pictures+of+black+and+white+cats&type=jpeg&no=1&tt=24,343&oid=5fbfdfc06ddcdd82&ei=UTF-8) now fred is about the size of a small dog...about 2 1/2-3ft long(including tail)and his tail is about a foot of that. he is about a foot tall, and weighs about 15-20lbs.i was wondering if i should worry, or if he is a normal sized cat, or what. ps: my back hurts a lot, and could me picking up fred lots be the cause? ...

 A local law enforcement officer stopped a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he was in a good mood that day he decided to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name." Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nutcase on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?" The man replies... "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling MD DDS. Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling MD DDS with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my dingaling so now I'm just Fred." The officer let him go without even a warning. :-) ...

 When I was a boy the age of 10 I had a very special friend fred was kind with good intent But just a little different Oh special fred mamma dropped him on his head Now hes not so bright instead Hes a little bit special Just a little bit We played tag and fred gets hurt we play soldiers and fred eat dirt I like math and spelling bee fred likes talking to a tree Oh special fred Mamma dropped him on his head Now she keeps him in the shed Cause hes a little bit special Just a little bit I like talking in shopping malls fred runs headfirst into walls I has girls and lots of clothes fred has names for all his toes Oh special fred Mamma dropped him on his head Now he thinks he's a piece of bread Cause hes a little bit special Just a little bit One day talking to special fred He grabbed a brick and he swung at my head And as he laughed at me thats when I realized That im special too Woah woah now I laugh as I count bugs I give strangers great big hugs Next to me fred is fine Yet he looks like einstein Oh special fred and me Now we're not right in the head you see Now we're not so bright instead We're a little bit special Just a little bit special just a little bit ...

 I had a friend named Fred who said it is a dying name. He said that other than Fred Dyrst (30's?) and Fred savage (20's?) that's the youngest you'll find anyone named Fred. The Fred I know is in his 40's and says you just don't have parents naming their kids Fred anymore, Period! ...

 Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He opened the note, and read out loud, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube!" ...

 recall those giddy times when we were on the EDGE of our seats, and FOX News was in the midst of MUCH hand-wringing about the possibility of Thompson announcing his candidacy. Will Fred announce soon? Is Fred going to run? When will Fred announce? IS Fred Thompson about to get in the race? What is Fred waiting for? Is Fred Thompson going to be the next Republican to join the race for the White House? Fred Thompson. Is he, or isn't he? HE'S ANNOUNCED!!! OH SH!T!! OH MY GAWD!! My pants are full of thick brown excremen-- I mean, excitement!! Alas, the dream is gone. The embarassing thing is that Ron Paul has done BETTER than Fred. Of course, Ron only gets mentioned along with a snide, obviously under-handed (yet ENTIRELY unbiased) comment. ROFL, Sonny. Still stuck in that severely limited paradigm, aren't you? Don't like Thompson = Must be a Democrat. What kind of vitamins do you take? Are you going above the recommended dosage? Be careful. ...

 A Cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. He asks the man for his name. "Fred," he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred," the man responds. The officer is in a good mood, doesn't smell alcohol, and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So the officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?" The man replies, "It's a, long story, so stay with me." "I was born Fred Dingaling. I know -- a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. "After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS. "Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I'm just Fred." The officer walked away in tears, laughing. ...

 Ol' Fred was in the hospital and near death. His family, deeply concerned about his fate, called in the preacher and asked if he would stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The preacher lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note. He grasped at the preacher's jacket with a teary eyed look on his face. His mouth was moving but no words came out. With his last breath he gave the preacher his note still grasping on to him, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. At the funeral, as he was finishing the ulogy, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He opened the note, and read, "You retard, you're standing on my oxygen tube!" ...

 Hey does any1 have any lookups for neopets that are fred fred burger he is like the best dude in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please answer neomail me at i_heart_dylansprouse!!!!!!!!! fred fred burger rules!!!!!!!! YES! ...

 "Doc, I want to be castrated." Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation." Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a little embarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here. Will you do it?" Doc says, "Well, OK, I guess I could make this one exception. I don't understand it, but OK." He puts Fred to sleep, does the trick, and is waiting at the bedside when Fred wakes up. "Well, Doc, how'd it go?" Fred asks. "It went fine, just fine. It's really not too difficult of an operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple task, and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went ahead and did that, too. I think, it's really better for a man to be circumcised, and I hope you don't mind my.." "CIRCUMCISED!" yells Fred. "THAT'S THE WORD!! ...